Fluorescence: The Complete Tetralogy Read online

  He bent down, grabbed me by the back of the thighs and lifted me up. I shrieked at first, scared he’d drop me. Then I kicked off my sandals and wrapped my legs around his waist. My heart pounded like a drum.

  Feet above the floor and my back pressed to the wall, my face was level with his—for once. I threw my arms around his neck and stared into his colorful eyes. Beautiful and captivating, like his…

  I kissed him. Deeply. Savoring him. The heat of his breath. The shape of his mouth. His lips enveloped mine. Taking me in. Stealing me away with each subtle pause. Each exhale softening my body. Freeing me. Every inhale making me stronger. Fearless. As if I’d just come up for air. Just begun to breathe real life.

  Our breaths grew heavier. My heart beat faster and faster. Our bodies pressed together. My legs clasped around him, holding him close. Fingers lightly scratching the nape of his neck. Through his hair.

  Restless.

  Unsatisfied.

  He tightened his grip on me, stepped back from behind the door, and set me on the nearby kitchen counter. It freed his hands to take the hem of my shirt and wrinkle it up my ribs. I lifted my arms and he peeled the shirt over my head. The collar caught on one of my earrings and I worked to untangle it, embarrassed, my hands shaking.

  The fabric slid over my skin and down to the floor.

  “You’re beautiful.” Brian scanned my face at first and then let his gaze wander. Across my shoulders. Down my sides. His fingers caressed my skin, tracing the curves of my waist, the passion in his touch stripping me of my insecurities. Stoking a fire. Raising my body heat.

  He kissed me again and I shuddered, his tongue teasing mine, seducing my lips. I couldn’t bring him close enough. My legs straddled his hips, squeezing tight. Hands grasping fabric. Energy flitted through me. Electricity. Every inch of my skin tingling. Stimulated by his touch.

  I tugged at his t-shirt, un-tucking it from his jeans. He tore it up over his head and tossed it onto the floor.

  My hand slid across his bare chest.

  Puberty had done him right. A lean, strong body. Perfect skin. A low, velvety voice. An alluring gaze. Intoxicating scent. My fingertips drifted over the scar above his heart and stayed there a moment, tracing the raised line. My gaze softened.

  Not too long ago, I’d felt childish. Clumsy. Unsure of myself.

  Today, he knew exactly where I wanted his hands and where I needed them. That excited me. I wasn’t a little girl anymore. Not in his arms.

  He bit his lower lip and grinned, taking my chin in his fingers and pulling me into another kiss. More intense than the last. His soft hands gravitated to the milky-white skin beneath the hem of my shorts. My breath trembled. Every nerve in my body quaked with urgency. Yearning. Weakness.

  “I want you, Brian,” I exhaled.

  “I want you, too, Alice,” he strained, sucking air in through gritted teeth.

  The fluorescence in us sparked to life. Brighter than ever. Green and blue melding together in a web of neon light, tinting our skin with molten turquoise.

  He kissed my throat, a smooth shaven cheek sliding across hypersensitive skin. A strap of my bra slipped off my shoulder. A hot breath against bare flesh. My head fell back and I gasped.

  My conscience told me no.

  Tell him the truth.

  You told Mom you wouldn’t until…

  Stop now. Don’t…

  “We can’t,” I groaned, halfheartedly. “I’m… worried.”

  “Don’t be.” His breath tickled my skin. “I won’t hurt you.” He pressed his blue fingers against my skin again and a wave of heat flushed through my body.

  Coaxed by his words, I slid to the very edge of the counter. Our bodies touched and his grasp tightened on my outer thighs. The friction blurred my sanity. I wanted him so much closer. I tasted the salt on his naked skin and imagined us coiled together beneath freshly wrinkled sheets.

  Safe.

  But it wasn’t reality.

  “We should wait,” I uttered in a labored exhale.

  “They say waiting is overrated.” The sensual lilt of his voice had me forgetting where I was again. The warmth of his fluorescence kept pulsing through my veins, destroying the will to say no. Enticing me to surrender.

  I had to resist. I had to try.

  “But, my mom…” I stressed, breathless.

  “Don’t worry so much.” His fingertips massaged my back.

  “No,” I strained. My head was spinning. “I have to tell you something. Brian, please.”

  “What?” He huffed and pulled away, glaring at me. “What is so important?” His voice was gruffer—frustrated.

  “My mom and dad…” I wiped sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand. “They were really young.”

  “And?” His expression softened.

  “She was sixteen.”

  Brian shrugged.

  “When… she got pregnant, I mean.”

  He exhaled a scoff, like he was suppressing a laugh. “Is that what this is about?” He rested his hands on the outside of my thighs. “I care about you, Alice, and I wouldn’t want that to happen, either. We don’t have to be stupid.” He leaned in to kiss me again but I stopped him.

  “She’s not stupid!”

  “Look. I’m sorry that happened to them, but it won’t happen to us. We’ll be more careful. I’ll be more careful.”

  “It’s not always that simple, Brian. It wasn’t meant to happen to her either. They used protection, too, but I was an accident. Don’t you understand? Having me ruined her life. She dropped out of school and couldn’t even get a job. My dad married her because she needed help and because of me. Now they’re divorced because of me. I’m not ready for that kind of mistake. I don’t think we’re ready for that.” I looked down at my lap and sighed. “I’ve changed my mind, okay?”

  He cupped my face in his hands and looked into my eyes. “It’s not your fault your parents messed up. We won’t let that happen. I’m not going anywhere. I love you, Alice.”

  “Don’t say that to me, Brian.” I mustered up the strength to shove him back. I hopped off the countertop and stumbled, my legs wobbly. “That’s exactly what my Dad said to me. I haven’t seen him in almost three years.”

  I picked my shirt up from the floor.

  “I. Am. Not. Your father, Alice,” he hissed through gritted teeth. The sound of his seething voice made my skin crawl. An ugly sneer wrinkled on his lips. His eyes narrowed. “Don’t compare me to him, damn it.”

  “I think you should go.” I crossed my arms and looked away. “Before my mom gets back.”

  “I am sick and tired of running from this! From your mother. From us. Alice, please.”

  I fondled my shirt, twisting it around my fingers and kneading the ball of fabric anxiously. “I told her we’d wait. Okay?” Tears welled in my eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” A lump swelled in my throat and I swallowed hard, fighting back the tightness choking my vocal cords.

  “Did you tell yourself that, too? Because you weren’t objecting to this earlier. Giving me all the wrong signals. Telling me all the wrong things. Touching me…”

  “I’m sorry, Brian.” I wiped my eyes with both palms. “I’m sorry. I was stupid, okay?”

  “Forget it. If you want to let your mother and her mistakes control how you live, fine. But she’s not going to change me.” He bent over, snatched his shirt up from the floor and put it back on.

  He slammed the back door behind him.

  I shuddered.

  It had been months since we’d been alone. Truly alone without distractions.

  I wanted Brian so much it ached. That pain had blinded me and had almost led me to let go without even thinking. A few weeks apart and already we’d gone mad from separation. How could we possibly wait three more years when I’d almost given in already? We were volatile, full of longing, and this insanely voracious need to consummate that passion.

  I
fell to my knees and crumpled over onto the kitchen floor, my face in my hands. My chest tightened and every breath squeezed my lungs harder. My face hurt. My heart throbbed. I couldn’t stop crying.

  How damn stupid had I been to send him away like that?

  I hadn’t meant to lead him on.

  Maybe we were young—impulsive—but I knew we were meant to be together.

  Even the Saviors knew it.

  But, Mom… didn’t.

  . . .

  Mom pulled into the driveway. I’d had some time to cool down and get myself together, but the scent of Brian’s skin still lingered. Taunting me. I wanted him back already; I couldn’t stop debating whether I had made the right decision. An overwhelming sick feeling convinced me I hadn’t.

  Mom came inside and put an armload of brown paper bags onto the counter. I swallowed hard, the guilty truth on the tip of my tongue.

  The doorbell rang.

  She glanced at me to see if I knew who it was. I shrugged.

  I followed her as she went to answer it.

  It was Brian, again.

  “We need to talk,” he said, sternly.

  I held my breath.

  “There’s nothing to talk about. Go home.” Mom tried to shut the door but he held it back with his hand.

  Her eyes went wide.

  “Ugh! Don’t you dare,” she bellowed, her enraged glare burning at him. “I’ll call the police. I’m not afraid of you.” The hoarseness in her voice gave me goose bumps.

  “Mom!”

  “Alice. Go back up to your room right now. Brian, go home.”

  “No. I…” He stuttered at first but regained composure. “No. I’m in love with your daughter and I will not let you keep us apart because of a stupid misunderstanding. I think it’s time you found out the truth about us, because there’s a hell of a lot more to it than this.”

  “Brian, no.” I stood a few feet behind my mom.

  He looked past her at me. “She needs to know, Alice.”

  “Needs to know what, exactly?” Mom glared at me accusingly.

  I whimpered beneath my breath.

  She squinted, studying Brian. Then turned to me again. “Alice?”

  I backed away.

  “You have five minutes, Brian.” She held open the door and stared him down as he walked past. She was hesitant to shut it behind him but finally did.

  “We have something to show you,” said Brian. He approached me and gestured for me to follow him into the living room. He closed the blinds behind the couch first and then the blinds beside the television.

  “What are you doing?” Mom asked, tilting her head.

  “Give me a sec, please. Alice?” Brian motioned for me to come to him. “You need to… show her.”

  I looked down and wrinkled the hem of my shirt in my hands. “I don’t know if she can really see it through my…”

  “Then…” He shrugged. “Take it off.”

  “How dare you!” Mom freaked.

  Brian shot her an “I know what I’m doing” look but she thinned her lips and glared back at him.

  “It’s okay, Mom. You’ll understand.” I rolled my eyes and avoided looking at her again.

  I took a deep breath. In my nose. Out of my mouth. Just like I’d learned from yoga in middle school. Then I reached down and peeled my shirt up and over my head, careful to avoid my earrings this time. The air had just kicked on. It was cold. I shivered and rubbed my arms.

  Mom cocked an eyebrow. I could tell she was biting her tongue and trying hard not to go on a full-out rampage.

  Brian reached out and grasped my bare shoulder, his fingers abnormally hot. I took another deep breath.

  The temperature rose within me and my pulse throbbed. It started on me first with the green emitting from the skin on top of my shoulder and then it showed on Brian, igniting his fingers with bright azure. It spread up his arm to just above his elbow. The colors resonated, glowing and fading in unison.

  “Jesus!” Mom gasped and stumbled backwards, her knees locking when she hit the couch. Horrified, she fell onto the seat and shook her head violently. “No. This isn’t possible.”

  “It’s okay, Mom.”

  Brian released me, still gleaming a bright, electric blue.

  “But… my baby!” Mom buried her face in her hands.

  My shoulder cooled and the color died down.

  “Mom, please. It’s okay. Don’t be upset.”

  Brian knelt at her feet and put his right hand onto her knee. “This is why we need to be together. Alice and I.”

  My mom peeked over her hands at Brian and sucked in a sobbing breath. I grabbed a tissue from the table beside the couch and patted her damp cheeks.

  “Mom? I need you. We need you now more than ever.”

  “I know,” she mumbled into her hands. “I know.” She gasped short, strained breaths, fighting back more tears. “I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it.”

  “I know it’s weird, but you have to listen to us.”

  “Those bastards!” Mom moaned.

  “What?” Brian perked up. “Who?”

  My heart skipped a beat.

  “They lied to me. Those damn things lied to me.”

  “Mom?” I sat beside her and put a hand on her quaking shoulder. “Mom, you’re scaring me. What are you talking about?”

  She looked up, tears glistening on her cheeks, eyes staring blankly across the room. “They lied. The Saviors lied!”

  Chapter 23

  “You know about them?” Brian asked, looking at my mom but glancing at me every few seconds with frightened eyes.

  She nodded, choking on a congested breath. “Yes.” She sniffed hard and reached for a tissue from the box on the coffee table. “I was one of the chosen ones. Like you two. But mine was… umm…” she stammered, overwhelmed.

  “It’s okay, Mom. Take it easy.” I massaged her shoulder.

  “On my leg,” she continued. “I was able to hide it from your father back when we were dating, but it was always going off at the most inopportune times.”

  “I know the feeling,” I said with a little chuckle. “This stuff knows how to embarrass you.”

  Brian leaned closer. “What happened to yours? Do you still have it?”

  I braced myself against the deafening honk of her blowing her nose.

  “No,” she replied, shaking her head. “They took it away. Or at least, they said they would. They told me I wasn’t good enough anymore. That I’d tainted it or something. I wasn’t supposed to have a baby with your father. So they told me they were going to take the stuff out of me. But…”

  She doubled over, sobbing into her hands.

  Brian’s forehead wrinkled. Sadness loomed in his eyes. I felt horrible. All this time we had kept it a secret. Brian had been right to want to tell her. Too right.

  “They lied to me,” she murmured, her words muffled by her damp fingers. “They said they would take it out of me but they only gave it to you instead. They used me. Those bastards used me!”

  “They never told us any of this, Mom.”

  “Just like them,” Brian grumbled. “They seem like they’re only telling us exactly what we have to know, and only when we need to know it. I’m starting to wonder if the little bit of truth they claim about that disease is even true?”

  “The one killing them?” My mom asked, patting her cheeks with a third tissue. “Are they still fighting that?”

  “I guess.” I shrugged. “It’s the story they gave us.”

  “Are there others? What about Sam?” Mom straightened up. She had stopped crying.

  “Yes, but not Sam,” Brian answered. “That older girl we were with the night we got in trouble—one of Sam’s neighbors. She’s one of us, too. She has it on her face. It’s pink, though.”

  “So, that’s why you guys were out so late? Huh?” She heaved a sigh. “I’m so sorry, you two. I had no idea th
is was still going on. I had no idea they were going to give it to my baby.” Her eyes shimmered with new tears. “I wish you would have told me sooner. You must have been terrified.”

  “It’s okay. Brian’s been helping me deal with it. The Saviors told us we were meant to be together and I really believe he’s different from other guys in school. Maybe it wasn’t right to sneak off to spy on him, but I was worried because I care about him. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all along, but couldn’t.”

  Brian reached over my mom’s lap to caress my hand.

  “I’m doing the best I can for her,” he said, looking my mom in the eye. “I meant what I said to you that day I walked here uninvited. I care about her and I’d never do anything to hurt her. I swear.”

  “I know, sweetie.” Mom patted the seat next to her. Brian came up from his knees and sat beside her. She forked her fingers through his hair, ruffling it and smiling at him. “You’re a really nice boy. I wanted to believe that the first day I saw you and the first time I saw you look at my little girl. But, that’s just it, she’s not a little girl anymore.” She heaved a sigh. “She’s growing up and she’s going to want someone else to love her.” She stretched out an arm behind him and hugged him to her side.

  “Aw, Mom.” I couldn’t stop a huge smile from lighting up my face. Heat flushed through my cheeks. It was seriously the best thing I could have ever heard from her right then.

  She reached her other arm around me and pulled me in. “I know it’s hard when you’re young, and sometimes you don’t make the right decisions. Sometimes you rush into things. Sometimes the people you think you love, don’t really love you.”

  I frowned, knowing she referred to Dad. I loved my dad so much, even if he didn’t love me. I wanted to believe he did. That he would come back someday with open arms and tell me how much he needed his daughter in his life.

  Nearly three years had passed since the last remnants of the marriage had dissolved and I hadn’t seen him since. I wanted to involve him in my life. I really did. I wanted him to meet Brian. I wanted him to warn me about boys and tell me I was stupid to be in love so young, but I was naive to think that could happen.